Cedar Point Halloweekends 2022
Having lived in Southeast Michigan for my entire life, it is only natural that Cedar Point is my home park. The place I've had memories from for the majority of my life. The amusement park that nurtured my love from all things theme parks. Halloweekends has been a part of that for a large part of my life as well, being the first amusement park Halloween event I ever attended. This year sees the event celebrating its 25th anniversary, an event that should see a monumental celebration. Instead what is presented this year is a depressing mess that leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Full disclosure, last year we made a trip to Halloweekends and had a good time with it, however due to not hitting a lot of the available houses, we decided not to do a full review because it wouldn't be a fair to give a review on just half of an event at best. However, last year was a big improvement from 2019, which does have a review up on this site, and we were looking forward to seeing how this year would continue to be a step in the right direction. Instead we were left with something that reaches a new low except for 1 diamond in the rough.
First up on the haunted house trek was Slaughter House. I went into this house fully expecting to give my first ever 0 score for anything, because this has been bad for years now. However, in a shocking turn this ended up being an improvement over past years. Actors ended up going for scares and some scenes had some genuinely well done misdirection. The end of the house has a nice chainsaw surprise after leaving the building, getting you when you assume the house is done. Don't get me wrong, this is still not a good house, but is certainly better than what it has been in the past. There are numerous rooms which are dead zones, something that would be a common occurrence during the night, and a couple actors seemingly missed cues. To the credit of these actors though, they overcame this and managed to delivery decent scares. A major issue for this house is the feeling of sameness. Except for a freezer room, the house suffers from severe monotony, with every room having the same look, lighting and style of props. There is no evolution in the plot of the house, it starts and ends in the same style of set. The house is saved by decent actors and some nice additions at the end, yet is still an improvement over what it used to be, which was a monotonous experience with terrible actors, so at least it has shown some genuine improvement, and I hope that continues.
Slaughter House 4 / 10
Next up on the itinerary was Fearground Freakshow. Located in a building that has seen many years of circus based houses of varying qualities, we went into this one not expecting much. What we ended up getting was a satisfying trip through a black light infused hellish circus with monsters popping out of every crevice. Various props and dummies are used to represent the freaks of the sideshow, offering distractions for actors to pounce. This is the only house that didn't seem to be laden with dead zones, in fact one room that is done up like big top tent is packed with clowns coming from all directions. The house goes from inside the show to the backstage areas which is helped by solid set design that at times feels grand. This is a high intensity house that is easily the best at the event and should be the example for the rest of the event.
Fearground Freakshow 7.5 / 10
The next house was the brand new one, Bloodbath, a trip through a club run by vampires. The house has a confusing layout, starting off in the blinding lights and loud music of the club, to the back areas where people are being held captive and being slaughtered, to somehow being in a hotel and then through the service areas of the hotel and out into the back alleys. The transition to the hotel causing whiplash because it comes out of nowhere. The acting is this one is decent, but the amount of dead space is insane, as well as the characters at times are confusing. For instance, there are multiple characters that it is hard to tell if they are captives or the killers, as well as multiple characters that we weren't sure were supposed to be vampires or servants. Also, there are puppets used that look more like werewolves than vampires and maybe that was what they were going for? It is hard to tell and honestly that is the major issue with the house. Not enough scares and it isn't clear what Cedar Point was going for in this one. This is one that if there was clear direction for it, could easily become a much better house. Hopefully this house gets better in its sophomore season.
Bloodbath 5 / 10
The final house we did for the night was The Haunting of Eerie Estate. A new take on an older theme, this year sees a paranormal group guiding guests through a haunted house where an old Ouija board has dramatically increased paranormal activity. This revamp is just straight up bad. The house is weirdly quiet, with little to no sound effects and absolutely no music in the entire house. This quiet has led to the actors mostly resorting to bumping walls to generate scares while barely talking at all, and any sounds they emanate coming out as whispers. It creates an awkward atmosphere that stays from start to finish. The house itself is not changed much from Eerie Estate houses, which is nicely furnished , but this year sees so much dead areas that it can never gain steam. For instance, a well designed sizable dining room has 0 actors inside it. It feels like they wanted to build tension in this house before going for scares and it has failed spectacularly. This used to be at worst an okay house, but this iteration is a disaster.
The Haunting of Eerie Estate 2 / 10
When it comes to what Cedar Point refers to as “scare zones”, there are a few that are more outdoor haunted houses than typical scare zones. These are horribly disappointing and need severe revamping. For example, Cornstalkers 2.0: Revenge of the Pumpkinheads is a disappointing walk though a straight path with corn on either side. No props exist for this and actors feel so spread apart that it is easy to get bored walking through this. Actors are not great for this one, with the only one getting a reaction out of me being one seductively whispering the word “corn”, and the reaction was only due to confusion. A barn at the end of the trail has an animatronic in it and that is it. Quite the strong finale, huh? Blood on the Bayou is a long walk through an awesomely designed backwoods set, with little people on the entire trail. For instance, a rather creepy trailer park area has only 1 actor inside the entirety of it. Since this is no limit to how many people are walking through at once, it led to an entire group of about 50 people walking through at once, with maybe 1 actor for every 25 people. It is hard for something to be scary when you have that lopsided of numbers. More traditional scare zones are just as embarrassing. One of them, called Harvest Fear, I didn't ever realize was supposed to be a scare zone until 75 percent through! Almost no actors were in it and none were even attempting to go for scares. Tombstone Terror-tory and Banished, both sizable areas for zones, fall to the same fate. There is just nowhere near enough actors to staff these zones and they are just dreadful to go through. At this point, Cedar Point should consider cutting the amount of zones down to 1 or 2 and trying to staff them more, because the current system is just flat out atrocious.
Scare zones 1 / 10
Halloweekends has been an event for 25 years now. After this one, maybe there shouldn't be a year 26. It is embarrassing that a massive amusement park can not put more effort into a huge money making event. Of the multiple Cedar Fair parks we've done, Cedar Point has easily the worst Halloween event. Maybe it was just youthful ignorance and nostalgia, but I remember going through in those early years and being scared out of my mind, especially in those early scarezones. Right now it is an event that time has passed by, with other theme parks putting on far better events. A new addition like Haunting at Eerie Estate shows what their attitude is, in which they market it as a new experience, by adding a new intro room and then making changes to the already existing house that makes it a far worse experience. Don't go to this event, pick just about anything else. Charging a bare minimum of $50 for this event is an insult. Support your local houses that certainly have more passion for their event and care for their guests than what Cedar Point is offering. With the exception of one house, this entire event is either below par or much worse.
Overall 2 / 10
